You know, instead of trying to insinuate it, I'll just blurt it right out to you guys: Sometimes I'm jealous of PMA's life. And I'm sure you guys have those moments too. I'll explain to you why.
Yesterday was Science Bowl practice, and I'm pretty sure every one on our team felt quite degraded after the practice session, seeing how we did so poorly compared to the other schools. Our team captain still hopes we can make it to semifinals. XD Yea right. In any case, going on with my story. So last night was not a good night to sleep. Whenever I don't have sufficient amounts of sleep, the next day tends to be a lousy day, and guess what it was a bad day. It starts with ToK, where I make a bunch of random statements that I realize were kind of stupid and I shouldn't have talked. But that's nothing big. Second was in Biology, when I started contemplating (because I think too much) how come that some kids in the class who don't listen to the teacher at all, do not respect the teacher's lectures and ruin other people's education, can still be able to do so well in the class. Yes, its one of those "why isn't life fair" topics. But whatever. Finally, the AMC Test. For some reason, during the American Math Competition test, I felt tired and couldn't concentrate. Needless to say, I could have done much better than I should have, and now I feel like I've lost my skills in math and am a complete failure. Well ok. I didn't feel that way. But nevertheless I was very depressed by my performance on this competition test. Mainly because my friends all answered more and probably got more answers right than I did, so I feel like I'm getting dumber and dumber in math... (Must be the random BS from english XP)
So why should I be jealous of PMA? Well you see, despite all the insults and rants I make on him, he's also quite respectable. How? He does not follow social standards like the rest of us. I guess its kind of hard to say. I mean, its something like, "I can never be the best in society, so why try" attitude given by him. Or something to that extent. Ok that sounded more negative than good. I think it has to do something with humbleness. Yes, in some cases, PMA is very humble. He, you can say, is very individual from society, does not care about what they say. He just is content with himself. His opinions are not as easily swayed by social standards because he makes his own standards. Its like this: I'm a math/science person, but if I do poorly on a test, what does that make me? It degrades my status and makes me look like a failure. PMA writes a story that isn't the best. However, its good enough for him. No matter how much I can criticize him on his grammer, his plot, his characters, and his essence as a story, he won't care because he's happy with it.
Of course, when society tells PMA plays by its rules, PMA doesn't do as well *coughchesscough*. However, we have to admire PMA's steadfastness to society... It sort of feels like, maybe, when there's a football player or someone better than you in taking over the world, Sal2... When you have writer's block and you just can't get that sentence out the way some other guy can, PJBW... or RO (I really can relate with him the easiest :) ) you for some reason get a bad grade on a physics test (That would never happen would it? :O ). PMA... mostly has his own rules for everything, and lives in his own little world... though its kinda weird and us as a society don't really understand it, in some ways, its respectable.
"L'enfer est L'autres."
Hell is other people.
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